Tracker’s Tips No.1

In the five days since launching this cultural and creative project, I have encountered a heart-warming volume of support, ranging from “You’re a jerk”, to “Katie, where do you find such good beard?”. So, in this new series of hints and tips I will share with you eager readers the best ways to spot a beard in its natural habitat. If approached in a gentle manner with light footsteps and hands aloft, you should encounter no danger. Never, ever approach a bearded man when he is with his mate or his young.

Tracker’s Tip No.1
You will see here the bearded man has made markings about this tree. These specific markings mean the grower is thirsty and has most likely slunk off to the nearest waterhole/most expensive local coffee shop. This is an optimum time to approach the furry one, for he will be jittery on coffee and more than willing to share his bushy secrets.

Be brave explorers!

Alfred.

Name: Alfred
(Beard) Age: Four years since I have been smooth.
Do you miss your chin? No, I think it is better this way.
Beard grooming routine: For someone who wants to grow a beard, they should know it takes time. What you need is patience.

Holy smokes! You can’t write this stuff. I only bloody went and met a bearded Alfredo followed by a bearded Alfred, adding fuel to the wicked urban myth that is: Alfs love a chin-cosy.

I nearly shut this Alfred in the slidey door at Manchester Press. I then proceeded to shake his hand and introduce myself whilst holding my lens cap in my teeth. We’re still working on the interview behaviour BUT, crucially, what Alfred has brought to my attention is that unique brand of patience a bearded man exudes. They’ve whiled away many an hour of mirror time waiting for the thicket to form. In all honesty, in this society of instant gratification, I think they’re better people for it.