Jamie.

Name: Jamie
(Beard) Age: Born with it.
Do you miss your chin? Can’t even remember what a chin is.
Beard grooming routine: None.

Ladies and gents, what we have here is the site’s first Integrity Beard. These growers are a fascinating subset with true focus and a dedication to the life of bearding. Often referred to as ‘Organic growers’ or even ”Heirloomers’, they sniff at a the recent resurgence of sprouting chins. These guys do it Stonehenge style. Look into Jamie’s eyes and you will see the tedium with which he regards my childish enthusiasm for beards. And of course, as with any Integrity Beard, a grooming routine is a laughable concept. I felt like a dick for asking. This isn’t fashion, this is a mindset.

It’s very  likely that Jamie will never see his chin again.

Alfredo.

Name: Alfredo
(Beard) Age: One month….it’s very fast growing.
Do you miss your chin? No!
Beard grooming routine: No rules. Just do it. 

I’ve encountered huge swathes of prejudice against covered-cheeked men in the 78 hours since Daily Beard was born. It seems the Great Unbearded so oft take the standpoint of ‘never trust a bearded man’. What folly! Must I remind you that it was not a beard that Hitler chose to make his face-statement with?

Thankfully I don’t have to resort to Hitler chat, because instead I have the wonderful Alfredo here to restore the warm, hairy glow. No need to be afraid-o when Alfredo is around; for what a gemstone he was. Look into those eyes and remember that beards belong on Santas, not Hitlers.

*It hasn’t escaped my beardar that Harold Shipman was indeed a grower. But I am 73% sure that he had a real care-giving phase before he went and got all mass murder-y.